Needing You
by rockrose
Summary: PDLD with a touch of Trory. Future fic. When Rory's husband Tristan dies, she is left to pick up her life. She needs help, and Finn is there in every way possible.
1. Haunting Memories

Disc: I don't own GG, nor do I make money from fan fics.

**AN:** I've been writing this for a while, and decided to post it here. Just so you know, I don't update this fic very often because it's tough to write. However, I do have most of the story planned out, so don't worry, I will eventually finish every single chapter of it. (It looks like a 30 chapter story, give or take.) Anyways, please let me know what you think about this.

* * *

Rory held her daughter tightly. Her daughter and her unborn baby were all she had left of her husband. The innocent little two- year old shifted slightly in her arms, as she sucked her thumb in her sleep. 

Mary Lorelai DuGrey had stopped sucking her thumb well over a year ago. Then everything collapsed. The habit was picked back up.

It had been ten days now. Ten days since Rory had received a phone call, telling her to go to the hospital. Ten days since her husband, Tristan, was pronounced dead. A drunk driver had hit the drivers side of Tristan's car, causing the car flip, with Tristan stuck struggling for his life.

It was twelve days ago that Rory took the home pregnancy test, and found out that she was, indeed pregnant again. Tristan had been ecstatic when he found out. He loved Rory and Mary, and couldn't wait to add another addition to their little family. Now he would never see their second child be born.

"Let me put her to bed." A voice broke into Rory's thoughts, as tears ran down her face.

"Finn?" Rory questioned, blinking up, looking utterly lost.

"Yes love, I used my key. I'll put Mary to bed. I'll be right back." He gently lifted the angelic figure out of her mother's arms, and walked up the stairs, placing her in her bed.

He tucked her under the covers, and placed her favorite stuffed animal in her arms. It was a little teddy bear from Build A Bear that Tristan had made for her, before she was even born. It was a simple caramel color, nothing too elaborate for a baby. She loved it dearly.

Finn kissed the top of her head and started back down the stairs, to the living room where Rory was sitting, trapped in her own private hell.

He sat down beside her on the couch, and wrapped his arms around his best friend. And he just let her cry.

-GG-

Lorelai walked into the house, smiling sadly at the pair sitting on the couch. Her daughter sniffled softly.

"Hey Finn. How has she been holding up?" She asked, wishing she could do anything to take the pain away from her daughter.

Finn shook his head. "She tries to keep it together for Mary. But I don't know… She needs someone to stay with her, someone she can depend on."

Lorelai nodded. "Steph and Colin are coming over in a while. They want to talk about how to help Rory and Mary, and the baby. Maybe figure things out for them a bit. Hopefully Rory will be asleep still… she doesn't need to be involved in this talk."

Finn agreed. "Let's get her to bed now then." He suggested, knowing that even though she was awake, she wasn't there with them. She was walking through sweet memories of her husband. It took loud noises or gentle shaking to get her to snap out of it.

He helped her up the stairs, and laid her on her bed. She was still in her pajamas. Everyday, as soon as she got out of the shower, she would put on another pair of pajamas. It wasn't as if she went anywhere. She just wanted to stay in her pajamas and Tristan's over sized Yale hoodie.

When he walked into the kitchen, Lorelai was making coffee. He had drunk copious amounts of coffee in the last ten days. The moment he found out a drunk driver killed his best friend, he knew he would never touch another drop of alcohol.

A gentle rapping on the front door had Lorelai walking over to open it. "Hey guys, come on in." She greeted, moving away from the door as Colin and Stephanie entered.

They all walked into the kitchen, where the coffee was now ready. After pouring them each a mug, they sat down. None of them knew where to start.

After a few minutes of silence, sipping, and stirring, Stephanie started talking. "We need to be here for Rory. She needs us now more than she ever has before. The thing is, we all have lives away from Hartford, so we can't all be here all the time."

Lorelai nodded. This was her problem. She wanted nothing more than to move in with her daughter and granddaughter, but she had a business to run. She had already been off for ten days, and was planning to take four more off. But she had to get back.

"I could." Came Finn's quiet reply. Everyone turned to look at him.

"You two are living in Boston now. You both have very demanding careers. You can't very well be here twenty-four seven." He said, nodding at the couple in front of him. He continued, turning to Lorelai, "And you also have a life forty five minutes away. And a demanding job, and relationship. Not to mention that you live in New York."

Lorelai placed her head in her hands. When she and Chris got back together, she sold her inn. Instead, she over saw a large hotel inn New York. It was great money, and Chris had moved there with Gigi several months before she made the move. She had created a life for herself away from Rory, and at that moment, she regretted it. A mother was supposed to be able to be there for her daughter in times such as these.

"But, that's asking a lot of you, Finn. She's pregnant, there's so much-" Lorelai started to say, shaking her head at the Australian man in front of her.

"It's what friends do. Tristan was my best friend. Rory is one of my best friends. I'm the one that works in Hartford. Mary calls me Uncle Finn. I can be here. It's not like I have dire commitments elsewhere."

The other three slowly nodded, seeing this as the solution to the problem.

-GG-

Rory lay in her and her husband's bed. It wasn't supposed to be like this. She wasn't supposed to be a twenty four year old widow. That wasn't how it went. She and Tristan were supposed to live happily, for the next sixty years, and watch their kids have kids.

Three years ago, she had just broken up with Logan. She ran into Tristan DuGrey on campus, getting coffee. He had transferred to Yale from Harvard. They quickly became friends, and it was only natural that they became more than that.

A few months into their relationship, Rory had gotten pregnant. She had been terrified. They were so careful, but apparently not careful enough. She remembered the day she told him…

_She walked into his apartment with the key he gave her. He hated it when she knocked. She went to his bedroom, where she found him writing a paper. _

"_Hey." He said, smiling, as he saw her walk in._

_She was so nervous. There was no point in beating around the bush. "We need to talk."_

"_What's wrong?" Worry began to etch onto his face as she sat down beside him, biting her lip._

"_I'm… well, you see…" She put her face in her hands. How could she tell him this? He was going to be so angry._

"_Rory?" This time there was a slightly panicked edge to his voice._

_She looked up at him. "I'm pregnant." _

_He blinked. And opened his mouth. And then he did something she didn't expect. He smiled. He stood up, walked over to his dresser, opened the top drawer, and took out a small box._

_He turned, faced her, and got on his knees in front of her. "Rory, I bought this after our first date together a couple months ago. I loved you when I was sixteen, and I love you even more now. I wasn't planning on giving this to you for a while, probably a couple years, but I guess now is perfect timing. Please marry me." _

_Rory was stunned. He wasn't angry. He didn't hate her. He wasn't running as quickly as he possibly could in the opposite direction. She threw her arms around him. This would work. It would all be ok._

She opened her eyes, sobbing. Sleep was no relief. There was no comfort. Only memories haunting her.


	2. Teddy Bear Presents

**AN:** Thank you for all the reviews on this.I do want to apalogize that I took so long to get this out. It's a very difficult fic to write, so it's going to be slow writing. Also, I want to clarify that Finn & Rory are not going to be a couple quickly. She's just lost the love of her life... she's got a lot to work out before she can even consider being with him romantically. She needs to mourn. I just wanted to reiterate that this is going to be a long fic... there's a lot of storyline here that needs to be worked through, and I'm not going to rush it. Anyways, thanks for all the reviews, I really appreciate your support on this one.

* * *

It had been two weeks since Finn moved in to the house. It had been twenty four days since Tristan's accident. Rory sat up in her bed, blinking. She heard someone moving around down stairs in the kitchen. Yawning, she thought it may be Tristan.

As she stood up and grabbed her robe, moving out of the bedroom, reality hit her like a ton of bricks.

"Oh God" Was all she could manage to say, placing her head in her hands.

She continued to the kitchen, seeing Finn, her best friend, the one person in the world she had come to truly rely on since the accident.

He looked over at her and poured her a cup of hot tea. She took it, and sipped, not once complaining. She walked over to the table and sat down, looking at him.

"I'm a mess." Were the first words out of her mouth.

"You have a reason." He shrugged, wondering where this conversation was going. She didn't talk much anymore. Hardly at all. She certainly hadn't initiated a conversation since Tristan's death.

Rory shook her head. "No, no I don't. I have a daughter and a baby on the way. I have people that depend on me. I need to be stronger."

Her eyes were filling with tears as she blinked up at him, looking through her lashes. Her eyes met his.

"Help me be stronger." Was what came out as a whisper, as she couldn't manage to find her voice.

Finn felt his heart break again, right then and there. She was his best friend's wife. She herself had been one of his best friends since she and Logan broke up three years ago. He would do anything and everything in his power to help her.

He opened his mouth to say something, but they were interrupted by a small two year old blonde haired, blue eyed angel named Mary.

Rory quickly wiped her eyes and walked over to the toddler, picking her up, and giving her a kiss. It was time she became a mother to her daughter again. It was what Tristan would want.

-GG-

Later that night Finn and Rory sat in front of the fireplace, making a list. He nursed a large cup of coffee, and she had a glass of milk.

"Are you sure you're ready? This can wait, or I can do it, or someone else can. You don't need to push yourself." He told her gently.

Rory blinked, sniffling. "I would imagine it would only get harder, the longer I wait." She replied, her voice so quiet he could barely hear her.

Finn nodded. This was new territory to him. What was he supposed to tell his best friend? Was he supposed to suggest she wait to start going through her dead husband's items, or was he supposed to encourage her to go through them, so she could begin to move forward and live again?

He looked over to the couch, relieved to see she was asleep. He needed to make a call.

"Hello?" The voice on the other line answered after a few rings.

"Hey Chris, is Lorelai there?" Finn asked, opening the refrigerator and grabbing a piece of fruit.

"Yeah, hold on."

Finn munched on his fruit for a few moments, waiting for Lorelai to come to the phone.

"Finn?" Lorelai asked, coming on the line.

"Hey Lore." He answered her.

"How's she doing?"

Finn let out a sigh. "I'm not sure. She may be getting better… then again this could be a bad sign. I don't know. That's why I called you." He rambled on, clearly out of his comfort zone with dealing with loss, grief, and comforting someone in their time of need.

"Hold on, back it up, rewind." Lorelai instructed, obviously confused. "What's going on?"

"Rory decided that she needs to start being a mother… and basically moving on. Today she decided that her new project is going to be sorting through Tristan's things." Finn explained, hoping the older Lorelai could shed some light on what he should do.

The silence over the line was deafening.

"Lorelai?"

"Uh, yeah." She snapped out of her thoughts. "I don't know what to tell you Finn. I think you just need to let her do this her way. I think it's her way of mourning. Just let her mourn, and help her whenever she asks for it."

"Thanks."

They continued to talk about Mary and Rory for a few moments and then hung up. Finn went to bed that night knowing what he needed to do the next day.

-GG-

The next morning Rory and Finn stood in the hallway together. "Are you sure you want to do this?" He asked, grabbing Rory's hand and looking into her eyes.

She shook her head. "It's not a matter of wanting to. It's a matter of needing to. I need to do this. For me. For Mary. For the baby. For all of us."

He nodded and followed her into the room. Rory had decided that she needed to figure out what to do with Tristan's things.

Finn tried to talk her into waiting for a while, but she insisted that she needed to do this now. She needed to move forward. Or at least try to.

An hour later, they were still hard at work. She had already separated clothing into piles to go to a local charity. Finn walked over to the dresser.

"What about his clothes in here?" He asked, pointing to the dresser.

Rory paused. When she was pregnant with Mary she wore Tristan's sweats and T-shirts around the house. She still did occasionally since they were comfortable.

She shook her head. "I can't. I need those. The-"

"It's ok." Finn assured her, squeezing her shoulders as he gave her a quick hug.

He walked over to Tristan's closet and saw a white gift bag tucked into a corner. He lifted it up.

"Luv, I don't know what this is." He told her, handing her the bag. He didn't want to snoop through Tristan's things too much. That was Rory's job.

She took the bag and sat on the bed, opening it.

"Oh my God." She muttered, lifting her hand to her mouth. Tears were starting to fall down her face.

"What?" He asked, sitting down next to her.

She lifted up a small caramel color teddy bear for him to see. It was from Build-A-Bear.

"He got it for the baby. He did the same thing for Mary when I was pregnant with her." She shook her head as the tears came more heavily. She pressed the bear against her chest, holding it close. The last person to have touched the bear was Tristan. She just wanted to feel close to him in some way again.

"I think that's enough for today." She whispered to Finn.

He nodded, placing a gentle kiss on her forehead before walking out of the room, giving her privacy for her memories of Tristan.

Finn walked downstairs to the kitchen and made another pot of coffee. He had been living and breathing the stuff lately. It kept him going. More importantly, it kept him from drinking.

He glanced at the calendar as he made his way to his room, where he needed to catch up on paperwork. He had called and made Rory a doctor's appointment for Friday. It was Wednesday. He would make sure she went to it.

-GG-

Upstairs Rory was curled up on her bed with the teddy bear squeezed to her chest. She clearly remembered the day he presented her with Mary's bear.

"_Honey, I'm home!" Tristan called, walking in the front door._

_Rory walked into the room, kissing him in greeting. "What's that?" She asked, pointing to the bag in his hand._

_He grinned, his blue eyes sparkling brightly. "This, is for the baby." _

_She shot him a look. "You do realize the baby won't be here for several months, right?" The three month pregnant brunette asked him, shaking her head._

"_It doesn't mean I can't buy my child a present!" He defended._

"_This kid is going to be sooo spoiled. So, what is it?" _

_He handed her the bag and she pulled the perfect little teddy bear out, "Aww, Tris, it's perfect." She cooed, her eyes tearing up. She couldn't believe her life was going so perfectly. She had a wonderful, loving husband and a baby on the way. Could life be any better?_

"_Just like you, and our baby." He replied, leaning over to capture her lips with his. _

-GG-

Two hours later Finn was almost finished with his paperwork. As he was going over the last document, the phone rang. Not wanting to bother Rory or Mary he quickly picked it up.

"Hello?" He said into the receiver.

"Hey Finn. It's me." Lorelai said. She was on her lunch break. She called several times a day to make sure Rory, Mary, and Finn were doing ok.

"Hey Lore."

"How is she doing?"

"We started going through his things." He told her, putting the document down.

"How did that go?"

"Well, it was going as well as can be expected until we found a present Tristan bought the baby."

There was silence. "He loved being a dad."

"Yeah, he did." Finn agreed. He remembered seeing his best friend with his daughter. It was an unexpected but beautiful sight. Tristan loved his family more than anything in the world.

"I need to go. I'll call later." Lorelai told him, trying not to cry. Her son-in-law was the best thing that ever happened to Rory.

They hung up, but not before Finn could here Lorelai sniffling. He shook his head. Only time would help heal the wounds for everyone.


	3. Midnight Screams

**AN:** Thanks for all the reviews! This is such a different fic from what I usually write, so your reviews really encourage me.

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**Chapter 3**

_Tristan's arms were wrapped around Rory's midsection, lightly stroking her large tummy where the baby- the child they created together- was growing, developing, coming to life._

"_You have never looked more beautiful than you do now." He whispered, leaning to her ear. _

_Rory shot him a look that clearly showed she thought otherwise. "Uh huh. So you're turned on by what exactly? Is it your T-shirt, your pajama pants, or my bunny slippers that make me stunning?" She asked him, now grumpy and unhappy with her weight. At eight months pregnant she didn't exactly feel like Miss America._

_Her husband just grinned at her, planting a light kiss on her lips. "It's everything about your pregnancy." _

"_Yeah, the swollen ankles are just so attractive." _

"_You were a knock out before. But now, your hair is shinier, you glow. And the fact you're carrying my child? Now that," He paused, leaning over to kiss her again, before continuing to speak at a quieter tone, "Is just damn sexy." _

_Rory smiled at her husband. No matter how miserable she felt, he was always there to make her feel better. She knew he would be a wonderful, loving father to their unborn daughter. _

_She snuggled deeper into his embrace, feeling the warmth of his arms around- _

"DADDY! DADDY!" Rory woke up suddenly, hearing the terrified screams coming from Mary's room. Jumping up she darted to the hallway, towards her daughter's room.

She arrived at the room just behind Finn. The little blonde angel laid screaming and crying in her room, her arms flailing about, her legs kicking.

"I want daddy!" She yelled, sobbing.

Rory felt her own tears run down her cheeks as she sat beside her daughter, scooping the child up in her arms. After Mary had a nightmare Tristan was always the one to comfort her. He was always the one to rock her back to sleep, and reassure her.

The little girl balled her hands into fists, fighting her mother. "NOOO! I want DADDY!" She screamed, her face now red and wet from the tears.

Finn sat on the other side of the bed, feeling helpless and lost as he watched the scene unfold in front of him. Mary wasn't a very strong or large child, but she was scared, and she wanted her daddy. Rory had no choice but to let go of Mary once her struggles became more violent. A little foot almost hit her stomach, and she couldn't allow anything to happen to her unborn child.

Finn realized that Rory couldn't handle Mary on her own, so he scooped the child into his arms, ignoring her screams as he held her arms back and rocked her gently.

The child continued to fight for some time, sometimes whimpering, sometimes screaming, sometimes all out howling, until eventually the sobs simply wracked her body with no cries coming out. She fell asleep in Finn's arms some time later, still crying, and sucking her thumb.

Rory looked on at the two, hating herself for not being able to comfort her own baby. She blamed herself, not knowing who else to blame. She knew she had to do something to make things easier on Mary. Somehow.

The night had been exhausting and draining for both Rory and Finn. They both needed sleep. They were physically and emotionally exhausted.

"What should I do?" Finn asked Rory, looking up at the woman sitting across the bed from him.

"Lay her down. I'll sleep in here tonight with her." Rory replied sadly. Her heart ached for her daughter. She knew Mary missed Tristan, but she didn't realize her daughter was in this much pain. It pained her to not be able to do anything to help the girl.

Finn nodded, trying to let go of Mary and tuck her into her little bed, but the girl would start to wake every time he let her go, and she would hold onto him, whimpering.

Finn and Rory exchanged a helpless look. Finally, Finn lay down with Mary still in his arms, on his chest. He gave Rory a sad smile and she joined them, stroking her daughter's hair as tears ran down her own cheeks. Slowly, she allowed sleep to consume her as Finn lay beside her, holding her daughter in his arms.

-GG-

Finn woke up a few hours later with a terrible pain shooting through his neck and his back. He groaned. "I'm too old to be passed out wherever I am…"

He was used to years upon years of drunken nights filled with passing out wherever he was. In his time he woke up in some pretty uncomfortable- not to mention awkward and embarrassing- places. Through his life he woke up to find himself laying in many different beds with many different women. Of course, this was generally accompanied by an intense throbbing in his head and a need to get away from the female- or females as the case had been a few times- that he spent the night with.

This Friday morning was different from every other morning in his life. Yes, he woke up to find a woman next to him in bed. Yes, he was in pain. This morning however, he awoke to find his best friend's widow lying next to him with her daughter sprawled on his chest. This morning, his pain was not from a hangover. He should have known better than to try to sleep in Mary's tiny toddler bed all night. He and Mary alone would have been squished, but with Rory in the bed too there was barely an inch of free space. Certainly no room to move around.

Years later when Finn would look back upon his life, he would realize that this one morning in particular was the turning point for everything. In a way, it was the first morning of the rest of his life. Of course, that wasn't something he would understand or even realize for quiet some time.

He glanced over and realized Rory was waking up. She blinked a few times, trying to figure out where exactly she was, and how she got there. He would know exactly when she figured it out and completely woke up. Every time she woke up, there would be that moment before absolute awakening, when her mind was still hazy. In that moment, she would have Tristan back. The nightmare wouldn't be real. But then, as she finished waking up, the sparkle in her eyes would die. Her face would fall. Her breath would catch. Finn believed she honestly had trouble keeping from doubling over in physical pain.

"Did she wake up at all?" Rory asked, her voice laced heavily with sleep as she glanced at her daughter.

Finn shook his head. "She's dea-" He stopped what he was about to say. _'She's dead to the world.'_ "She's out like a light." He finished weakly, giving Rory a small smile.

She reached over to squeeze Finn's hand. "Thank you. For being here. For being you. I really do appreciate it. I don't know what we would do without you." She whispered, running her hand through her baby girl's blonde hair, feeling the silky texture so like the child's fathers.

He nodded, finally removing Mary's tiny limbs from him and laying her gently onto her pillows. Tip toeing softly and very, very slowly, he made his way out of the bedroom with Rory following him. He noticed she was also limping.

"Not quiet the most comfortable night, love?" He questioned, trying not to laugh at Rory's pained expression.

"Ha ha." She muttered, narrowing her eyes, "You don't exactly look ready to run a marathon."

"Face it, we're getting old." He replied dramatically, shaking his head in mock sadness. Looking at the kitchen clock as he went straight to the coffeemaker he realized it was Friday.

"Your doctor's appointment is today." He informed Rory, to which she nodded as she grabbed the herbal tea.

"God, I miss coffee." She remarked, smelling the heavenly liquid.

"I miss alcohol." He replied bluntly, not realizing what he said. "God, I'm such an id-"

"It's ok." She whispered, shaking her head. "We all miss a lot. Nothing's the same. Nothing will ever be the same." Rory shrugged. "We just have to try to survive I guess."

Finn nodded and grabbed his coffee, joining her at the table where they sipped their morning beverages in silence, their thoughts weighing heavy in the room.


End file.
